Observation #90217 ... I like to make lists.

As you get older you start to pay more attention to the little parts of life. I’m not sure when or why this happens. I have a theory or two but no one can be certain. I also can’t be certain that this is true for everyone but I believe it happens often enough to most to understand my meaning. You would think that it would happen less because as we get older we gain more responsibility and our mind seems to drift to the necessities of what life calls for. But maybe because we get so drained and exhausted by these demands that when we have a moment to stop and realize these little but beautiful moments that pass us way too often we have the notion of “Maybe I should slow down.” The little observations that happen every single day that we forget to remember or look back on. Or even the ones that we do remember but seem to dismiss with little to no appreciation because we think they will always be there. I’m here to tell you I appreciate you…you being little and miniscule thoughts, moments and or comforts. I love that you warm my heart and remind me. I find it a necessity to acknowledge you.


I will always love the way it feels to walk into my home and find unconditionally loving animals waiting for me with nothing but bodies that wiggle and tails that wag. They always almost surely seem to smile at some point.

I will always feel flattered when someone calls me by a nickname. I like knowing that someone feels like they know me well enough to call me something other than my birth given name.

I will always love when a man buries his face into the back of your hair and almost seems to breathe you in. It very well could be one of the most intimate moments you share with someone if you ask me.

I will always admire the people that can sing openly in front of other people without hesitation. Or even play an instrument of some kind. I won’t even let the dogs in the room with me when I attempt to play my piano. Key word these days ATTEMPT.

I will always love the children that act and love so freely. They could easily be a child that I will never split a conversation with but will remember their facial expressions and words spoken.

I will always love looking at pictures of film crews and thinking of them all as my father at some point. And I will always love being around the familiar sight of cables, gels, sand bags, apples boxes and grip tape. It’s like a big hug when I walk onto set. I usually keep this to myself.

I will always love the fact that Neil Young will hold a special place in my heart and every time I hear “Old Man” I will think of my brother Eli because it makes me happy that someone who acts so tough at times connects to such a delicate song.

I will always find it interesting and even funny the way that I stumble around writing and figuring out the configuration of words and sentences. You better believe that when I go back and read it there is a hand quickly covering my mouth in “Wow. What the hell was I thinking?”

I will always love the way Matty B looks at me without saying anything and leaves a room with nothing but a simple wink. The silent but ever so unspoken wordy exit with an affectionate grip.

I will always love the way board games seem to bring people together and guarantee laughs. Even if there is hesitation from members of the clan and even arguments over which game should be played…in the end everyone is laughing and the winners are bragging.

I will always love the sound a guitar makes when someone’s fingers drag across the strings. Even more so when you find this recorded on an album. I find its more accessible when you have one headphone in.

I will always love the way my brother Eli looks when he pulls out his guns and shows them off as if he would be happy with even the simplest smile throw his way for amusement. And he surly is. Why do boys like guns so much? Eli took me shooting at a much needed time and it did feel pretty amazing. Another thing I love is that I answer my own questions.

I will always love wearing the smell of pond water. It will always hold a special place in my heart and remind me of the good ol’ days on the old farm place. One day in particular when a dock broke. But that’s for another log.

I will always love knowing that I have a venue to write and feel like someone enjoys it or can relate to it in some way. Relate to this every changing, wild heart and even misunderstood to myself mind of mine.

I will always love the atmosphere that headphones bring to you while you write. It’s a nice way to cut off all distractions and emotion from the outside world that has nothing to do with your writing and they often hold a spark of inspiration.

I will always love the way music makes you feel. How it can change your attitude instantly. When a certain cord is hit or a note is sung. How can someone that we have never even shaken hands with have such a power over us? I will always love the mystery in that question.

I will always love walking into Nini’s house and throwing my bags on the ground and running to the couch to sprawl out and enjoy a plate of tacos. Or anything she makes for that matter.

I will always take comfort in the way freshly washed sheets seem to have open arms to you as you fall into them. White sheets in particular. They seem to have such a warm embrace.

I will always love watching movie trailers in a theatre before the actual movie begins. It's one of my favorite parts about going to see a movie. That and the hot dogs that have been roasting for 24 plus hours. What can I say...we all have our things!

I will always love being loved.


-Me