How do you feel about those moments when something happens and you stop and tell yourself ”I will never let this happen again" and within a matter of days, weeks or sometimes even months you seem to find yourself in the exact same position saying the exact same thing? When I was a kid I would imagine that I had three times to put my foot down on something and that was all I would get! Three chances to change or determine how who or whatever would have a role in my life. And when I say put my foot down I would literally be fed up and slam my foot on the ground. I think I even had a foot stomping realization in the shower once and made an attempt to make my determination known and slipped and fell in the shower. For those of you that know me should know that this is not a rarity. I’m long and clumsy and I’m the first to admit this. I used to consider myself a strong willed person or even stubborn at times. But I’m not sure if it's life or people that seem to be breaking me down and making me more lackadaisical when it comes to doing what’s right and standing up for not only myself but for people and situation surrounding me. But I can honestly say that the situations I have allowed myself to be put in recently have made me somewhat sad and turn the mirror on myself. I’m sure this sounds much more dramatic than I have intended it to be but certain people may understand what I’m referring to and others can take it and run with it whichever way they'd like. At least let it be exciting...and have the end result be the same. Nothing wrong with a little imagination.
The same goes for people in your life. I used to think that there were certain people that life has dealt you that you have to manage and figure out a way to make your existence and theirs coincide. And to a certain degree this is demanded (IE You don’t kill or hurt the person.) But it’s been an eye opening and hard lesson to learn that certain people are not good for you. This has nothing to do with the level of love you have for the person. It has everything to do with the role they play in your life and if that role is positive or negative. Are they causing more trouble than they are worth? What do they bring to the table that is making you so desperately try and make things OK. Not even great but just make things manageable. And "Life is too short" runs through my head over and over and over again. Cut the blood suckers loose and move on to something or someone worthy. And again the level of love has little to nothing to do with it in my eyes. This could very well be a family member if you ask me. That being said I also think it’s important to pay particular attention to the people that have always been within arm’s reach and notice if you take the smallest amount of energy to see them you will become aware of how much greatness and love they have to offer in a matter of moments. It’s just something to think about I suppose...
Something else I have noticed recently that doesn’t necessarily lead into anything profound but it’s just an interesting observation. It seems like when a person has someone close to them pass away they will always refer to them as what they called them when they passed away. No matter what age they find themselves at. I think I will probably be 50 and still referring to my father as "Daddy."
Love and be Loved
A
About Me
- Annie Lauren Munoz
- My name is Annie. Although it seems like recently all people call me is Annabelle. I was born and raised in Los Angeles and consider it my always entertaining yet bittersweet home. I fall in love with all the colorful people and character that the city holds. Lover of many things. Music, Art, Animals, People, Food, Culture, Sports, Cinema, Family, Friends. They have all molded me in some way. I just like to write sometimes. Sometimes people like to read it. And that's where it all started...