I think its safe to say that we all have our moments when we stop and ask ourselves certain questions that make us question our motives. I have found this to be true most recently with certain people in my life. I always want to find and see the good in people. Even after they have made me doubt them. I want to give people that second chance and feel like I wasn't a fool for believing in them. There is too much negative energy out there for me to just contribute to it so easily. But sometimes it cant be helped. There are those people that no matter how much you want them to prove you wrong they end up breaking you down. I have found this to be true on many levels of friendships. But sometimes I feel like I let people and my opinion on them intrude on my own well being. I just so badly want to see the positive in everyone but it can be so hard and such a let down. Especially when it's someone you truly care about. I have reached a point where I am not so easily handing out the "Get Out Of Jail Free" card. I will never be the type of person who holds grudges. But I do feel like I have grown a thicker skin and protect myself a little better from potential pain. I can pinpoint certain events that have happened that make me feel this way. I'm still confused on this new found change and if its a good thing or a bad thing. I want to be open to everything but with age I find myself becoming more guarded and even cynical. This is a work in progress and I'm still working it over in my own head.
It's not all bad Debbie downer says...I find that you can have some of the most precious moments with animals. When people let you down its rare that a animal will do the same. Unless of course you leave them at your Mom's house for 2 weeks where he is being fed nothing but MEAT and realizes the change in his diet and decides to pee on your bed just to piss you off. Little bastard. But back to precious moments...I was lucky enough to go horseback riding today. Ive been riding and jumping horses since I was a kid but have not been on a horse for years. When I was walking through the stables the smell wrapped around me and reminded me of so many cherished memories and laughs. But while I was waiting to be reunited with the horses I found myself getting nervous. How I am now a 24 year old grown up woman and I'm nervous to get on a horse that could probably walk the trail blind folded and not have a slip up. When I was younger I would ride, saddle up and jump horses that were far too large for me and not once did I ever have fear towards them. We would do exercises with our horses where we would have to let go of the reins and completely lay flat on our backs and let the horse continue to walk. It was a trust exercise between you and your horse. When I was riding today I was reminded of how much you trust that animal for the time you are on it's back. And how much they trust to have you on their back. It's a very special relationship you develop with a horse that you ride and especially when it's one you compete with. It was nice to revisit that feeling today.
Signing off with a sore ass, glass of wine and curiosity
A
About Me
- Annie Lauren Munoz
- My name is Annie. Although it seems like recently all people call me is Annabelle. I was born and raised in Los Angeles and consider it my always entertaining yet bittersweet home. I fall in love with all the colorful people and character that the city holds. Lover of many things. Music, Art, Animals, People, Food, Culture, Sports, Cinema, Family, Friends. They have all molded me in some way. I just like to write sometimes. Sometimes people like to read it. And that's where it all started...